Insignia

Insignia

Mommy Rochelle gave birth! Is it a girl or a boy? A Boy! It’s a boy, His name is Sage…

When I found out that my block mate in college Rochelle Basilio, was carrying a life in her body, I was struck by the idea of having a child, I was just thinking to have a son not realizing the responsibility that will come along the way…the food, the clothing, the shelter, the wants, the demands its just so hard yet making one is so easy. I mean creating.

I was just thinking of having a son and not bringing a wife home. I know that it’s not right but something is telling me that I need to have a child someone I could tell everybody that I already have a child, and when I see my child I will tell everyone that he is my child, I will be a very proud father. It must be hard for them to grow a child without a concrete plan…all I know is that they do not regret having Sage by their side.

During the first three months of her pregnancy, Rochelle was triumphant hiding the situation from everyone. She was thin, her skin almost touch her bones and embraces half inch of her muscles, but she was fit, as fit as Hercules she is and as brave as Ares and kept her Venus smile from her charm. She wears clothes we noticed larger than her size, her body was different at that time it became wider and sturdy. It was something very unusual that moment. I was with her during that part of her life yet she was not with me, her consciousness flows from her eyes to the lost realm, I could see that she struggling but her braveness is tough different from any other. It maybe the love, that Earl offers to her everyday. Earl was not the man that carries an outside aura of toughness he is soft easy to be moved by a hard punch of life’s playfulness but he has given a dedication to his family. Earl’s vindictiveness gave much hope for Mommy Rochelle and made her believe that they should continue moving on the path they chose. Their love was different, precious, and it keeps them from leaving each other behind. We were not as close as I could imagine before she is with her clique, Maynard and Marjorie.

Rochelle started to talk, she said she misses the time when she, Maynard, Marjorie and Bong Nguyen spend some time to talk, review notes, study and have some coffee, and I am a coffee lover that’s why she opens up. Bong is now in Australia continuing his studies he was not able to finish here, Maynard was busy for METROPOP then and Marjorie was in the Secretariat, for ORADEC. Rochelle never blames anyone for the incident, she considers it as a blessing, and more than a blessing may be a gift. I was just there to listen, absorbing the sadness that is lurking her soul the sadness is not because of what she is bringing but she is longing for some care a friend would give. Changes happens when we are all drawn to academic activities that keep us from our personal lives, we were not aware, there is that certain unconsciousness that has given us conflicts and issues. Even I myself was drawn to escape from reality. It was hard for us all. Then I thought of having a child.

It was a freaky idea. Is there a woman willing to sacrifice nine months of her life just to give me a child and not just that she will have the custody of the child but I will support the financial needs of my child. NONE I believe. There would be no one who will be willing to get a job like that not in this world may be. I was a growing pain. We are growing pains. Child is a growing pain. And why do I want to have a child? Am I envious of the feeling it give to Rochelle and Earl?

Changes happen when a life is born. It shatters regretful moments and gives bashful hopes. Yes I am jealous, I envy the attention and the feeling of having a child…it gave them perpetual happiness that only parents would feel, the maternal instinct and paternal emotions burst out because of a child. But I hesitated, and look back when the time I was born.

Life started to grow last 27^th of June 1983, I don’t have any idea how they make me, all I know is I want to get out from that yucky dark place, with bloods, and icky stuffs drooling along my whole body. The process of getting out of that sanctuary was a tough act, especially for my mom.

I was a product of a forced situational phenomena happens in Filipino Marriages, when the man is so eager to marry somebody he would likely to force a woman to enact a sexual intercourse to let the woman commit to him. That is what happen according to my mom and I believe that I was not a product of love merely a product of this Filipino Machismo Phenomena. Before they were catch in the wedlock in church wedding my mom told me that she was forced to come with my father. So it started as a stowaway relationship that ended up marrying my father. During that time especially in the province in order to restore woman’s dignity was to marry the man who forced her to come with him to continue the relationship. Early years of their marriage was no a clean home but filthy.

Then I finally came home on February 27, 1984. I was a small infant then about six pounds with hazel brown eyes and light brown skin with reddish parts in extremities of my body; I came home with a butterfly flying around me. A brown small butterfly with black patches on each wings, it flies as if it is spreading pollens in the air, it flies gracefully like a ballerina with wings dancing in the air with a soft humming melody on the background. The butterfly was a sign. Like Rochelle and Earl my mom and dad never regret that I came to their life, I just came too early for them. At that time they were unprepared, caught at the moment that they were unstable and immature. The social condition at that time adds up to the pressure that they are experiencing.

My dad is a very vulnerable man different from the rest, he was not typical, and not a stereotype father that thinks much of his family…he was carefree, thinking that he handles life very well. His pride was eaten up his ability to manage his life of being a father and being a man, very unlikely to any man. It became a problem for him and even a problem for my mom. Like Rochelle my mom carries the beauty comparable to Diana considerably like Venus and a Heart that is as caring as Hera. She is powerful because she endured life most difficult hurdles a woman could ever face. She was intimidating that’s why she is not like any other mother, any other woman. She was even; her stillness was cultured by her teachers, her experiences. They were meant for each other.

My mom is a Sagittarius, the archer and my father is a Piscean. Two opposite signs that goes well come what may. That’s why I came here because they made me and three of my siblings. Now here I am writing stories.

February 27, 1984 is the most important day of my life because the most important days of my life happened because of this one. I will never have any other day if not because of this day. The day when, I started to grow, to know and to understand things that has affected me or affecting me or will affect me. We sometimes think that there’s another day more important than our birthday, but think twice it is most important than any other day in our life. I found out that it’s not a good idea after all having a child. Time will tell that it’s okay for me to have such responsibility that will create changes to my life as well to other person. There are other ways to change or move people, not having a child.

There are other ways.

A year passed and now Sage is one year and three months old, his father Earl now works in an oil firm in Dubai, sacrificing distance, time, and the love he is more willing to give to his son. He is doing things that he was not even expecting he would do. I admire Earl; he is no-cavalier but a lowly father willing to do the impossible for his son, he is defining what a modern father a man should be.

There is no time to waste, no time for squander.

Rochelle was absorbed by the company she works for her On-the-Job Training, in SHOE an Events Management Company. Maynard and Marjorie stands by their Godson, Sage. Maynard may be perfecting his craft and Marjorie now works in a Call Center in Makati. Bong writes to Rochelle more often now. Rochelle has her own priorities now, activities that make her pre occupied, realizing that everyone has their own stones to throw, shovel to use and brush to apply.

My mom is now at her mid forties and still fulfilling the task she is asked to do. Continue to give us the necessary and the important. They are now more mature and handles life in the most enduring way and learned lessons from the past. They became sweeter and affectionate to each other it’s just normal for them to have some misunderstandings but we are getting used to it.

I am still contemplating of having a child...

Rochelle Basilio, a mom at her 22 and a friend.

She is one of the fascinating people I met, and she continuously awes everyone with her beauty plus intelligence. And sage is the most precious blessing she have after Earl.